b.Inspired Cafe & Blog

Beyond Glass Ceiling or Glass Slipper

New research reported in Chicago Sun-Times says "Female execs can't break into boys club." [Read Sun Times article] (sent to my attention from Chicago Foundation for Women's e-blast, cfw.org)
Hmm. I consider myself a feminist and obviously very interested with what's happening with professional women. Of course, this new research stirs up that question, "Why aren't there more females at the top of companies?" When I was writing the Wake Up Inspired book, I wrote:

One conclusive theme emerges in reviewing recent studies and women’s stories. It’s not that women aren’t powerful or talented enough to make it in the top rungs. Rather, many are choosing not to pursue lifestyles they view as hazardous to one’s psychological, physical, spiritual and ethical health. Who wants to keep pushing to break through a glass ceiling if this leads to more stress and a shattered spirit?

Of course women choosing to not pursue those jobs is not the only reason! At a recent professional women's luncheon of 200+ execs, when asked "Is there sexism in business...in your career?" all the hands went up.

The other myth of women opting out is that we're giving up on the glass ceiling in favor of a glass slipper-- to stay at home, taken care of by a man.  Certainly, neither of these are the whole truth. I get impatient with any over-simplified framing of the female professional's choices. She can be a career zealot or a Family-first soccer mom. Family is not the only F word that's important to women. Most crave higher Fulfillment and meaning these days, children or not, married or single. Women are complex, unique human beings-wanting a blend of spirituality with ambition, enough chilling out and stimulating challenge.

What fascinates me today is --What should we be pushing for? How much do we want to keep measuring female success by professional parity with men? Equal pay and equal access to the corner office are still important and noble missions. I want my clients and "sisters" out there to succeed in all the ways they wish to! I often wonder if another "third wave" of women's liberation in the 21st century is to look beyond climbing that masculine/ego-driven ladder-- and really tune within... to do the deep work of recharging our souls, embracing our sacred feminine energy.

We’ve been operating in an ego-driven, patriarchal cultural system for too long and we are seriously out of balance, like a car driving on two wheels, with escalating speed. It’s time for us to really create the integration of inner/outer and feminine/masculine energies that exist within us all. More of us are awakening and ready to enjoy the ride of our true destinies. That doesn't mean we all leave corporate America and go meditate on the mountain. The new story of success is about proudly bringing more authentic, inner-inspired selves into our lives, livelihood and leadership. As an example, Pink magazine celebrates executive women who "embrace their femininity along with their strength, their compassion and resilience, power and passion."  Pink's mission includes "to promote women who are making a significant impact on the world through their work and their lives-while being true to themselves."

We are at the threshold of redefining success and reclaiming joy. I think professional women will and must be a leading force in this movement. Having more women in positions of power is significant. However, having conscious, evolved people in those roles is paramount (which is about essence, not just gender). Don't we all want to infuse more healthy nourishment, compassion, empathy, integrity, thoughtful decision making and relationship building into how our world is run? :-) It's time to know what the game is really about.

This is great news for all alert human beings willing to embrace change.

For more info about the new report, see The Chicago Network 2007 Census Report

 

When Women Wake, Mountains Move: A Revolution Brewing

Has is hit you yet? Are you in madly in love with your life and the world around you, soaring on your inspired mission, or are you beginning to join that chorus of “Is this all there is?” If you chose the latter, rest assured you’re in good company. There is a groundswell of bright, achieving women feeling disenchanted or called to something more. I believe this is a very healthy restlessness among awakening women seeking authentic fulfillment in life and career. In spite of our accumulation of material wealth and technology, we have a poverty of inspiration. Most people recharge cell phones more often than recharging their own true spirit and higher wisdom. Lack of inspiration is expensive. It’s a threat to our personal, career, economic and global health.

The good news: More achieving women are ready to redefine success in order to include well-being, spirituality, and meaningful work rather than sacrifice these elements while trying to climb ladders and compete in ways that are often out of sync with her true nature. Who wants to keep pushing to break through a glass ceiling if this leads to more stress and a shattered spirit? Professionals come to me seeking their higher purpose much more than just higher paychecks.

We are at the threshold of rethinking success and reclaiming true prosperity. I think professional women will and must lead this movement. This is great news for alert women willing to embrace change. Whatever your admiration or resistance to the term feminism, let’s agree to the benefits of reviving the power and pride of the feminine spirit. Our world needs the wonderful contributions of inspired, conscious feminine energy now more than ever. That takes vitality, heart and courage. This requires self care and recharging your own soul first.

The revolution that I speak of includes feeling more connected to your true spirit. Women want to experience a harmony between who we are deep inside, and how we function in the outer world.  “Life, liberty and pursuit of happiness” has a renewed echo in our hearts as we begin the 21st century. In the 19th and 20th century, the first feminist initiatives were about “Life” -- I exist. I have a say in the world. I count and get a vote. “Liberty” overlaps nicely with the push for the freedom to pursue financial independence and equal opportunity to compete for the corner office. We have come a long way, baby, and owe much gratitude to our fore-sisters.

Nonetheless, it’s not turning out how we dreamed once upon a time, is it? Now, we have a grand opportunity to revamp “The Pursuit of Happiness.” Let’s pray we are wiser about what “happiness” entails and realize that she who dies with the most toys is probably spending too much time on eBay. 

I’m also hopeful that more women will be inspired to nourish and support each other (rather than augment the unfortunate, power-hungry stereotypes that glorify survival of the self-promoting fittest). Part of this new healthy success movement should include breaking a code of pretense, being more honest with each other about how we actually feel, and supporting each other with genuine empathy.

The planet needs our compassion and our fierce strength, like that mother bear energy, protecting her cubs. We need more feminine power actively engaged in the world to end violence and to feed the hungry. Modern spiritual rebel-rouser, Marianne Williamson, has said that it is the adult female of a group who leads the way towards conscious change that can heal and protect the long-term survival of that species. Of course, we still want to celebrate all of the magnificent qualities of men, while bringing more women to the table.  We need to encourage more feminine potency expressing itself in both genders, for the higher good of all people.

If we join our amazing hearts, brains and hands more, we can stir up a revolution. Imagine channeling our ambition into creative ways of inspiring ourselves and others. We can make a difference by infusing the best of feminine spirit into our lives, businesses and world leadership. If you are reading this, you are a woman of power. You have choices to make and a voice to use toward a world that works for all of us.

If all of this feels daunting, please exhale and relax. I can appreciate how you might be thinking, “I don’t want to join a revolution or change the world…I just want to get a grip on creating a more fulfilling life.” My calling is focused on equipping individuals like you to create joyful, lives and careers, because I know that when your well if full, this will naturally lead to your positive contributions for your relationships, workplace, community and so on. You can trust that all of this change begins with making more breathing room and calm in your life, not with pushing and working harder. As more of us support each other to create harmony and soul satisfaction within our own lives, we will fuel harmony in the world. Why not go for a trickle down theory of inspiration? Are you in?         

Powerful Questions:

• What got stirred up for you in reading this article? What feels uplifting? What feels challenging?
• What is your soul whispering to you? If you can’t “hear” anything, it may be a clue that you need to slow down and create some quiet time to tune in to your inner self.
• How could you create a bit more breathing room in your life? How could you “fill your well” more?
• If your own well feels pretty full, ask yourself, What do I care about in the world? Where is my heart called to contribute somehow that could be a joyful experience for me?

                                    When sleeping women wake, mountains move.
                                                                                           - Chinese Proverb

Some material adapted from the book Wake Up Inspired: Fuel Healthier Success and Love the Life You’re Meant to Lead by Marian Baker.

Reclaiming Beauty, Redefining Success

It felt like cold water slapping my face. The first time I watched, it made me uncomfortable. The second time, I cried. Now I'm all fired up with positive energy about health female power and want to share that with you.

"It" is a 60-second video at CampaignforRealBeauty.com. Click here to watch this 60 second video that made my heart stop. Go to "Evolution film" and click watch the film (please note: I'm not talking about the pro-age video).

You'll see that this film represents a form of violence against girls (and women) that we need to be more conscious about.

Research* reveals the good, the bad and the...

• Dr. Susie Orbach has discovered that spending just three minutes looking at fashion magazines lowers the self-esteem of 80% of women.
• Distorted expectations and pressures of physical beauty effect self esteem. This leads to introversion, a withdrawal from normal life and a waste of potential.
• 6 out of 10 girls think they'd "be happier if they were thinner".

Like many of you, I recall being a young girl, cruelly teased about my looks nearly every day at school. Now I can appreciate that this urged me to develop my intelligence and other talents. Today my heart goes out to any girl feeling disheartened by mass media pressure that feels more intense than my youth era. (In my twenties a friend encouraged me to get a nose job, which helped eliminate an obstruction to my confidence.)

Good news*:

• 87% of women agree that "a woman can look beautiful at any age" and 81% agreed with "every woman has something beautiful about her."
• 75% of women agree that beauty does not come from her looks, but from her spirit and love of life.

Author and feminist, Naomi Wolf says in 1991 most American women were still feeling bad about not looking like the thin, blonde Barbie with big breasts. She writes that now women "DO see themselves as beautiful when they are being loved or engaging in meaningful activities, involved in spiritual experiences, helping others or doing creative work." Wolf astutely points out that when women are no longer preoccupied with "external shortcomings, they can get on in forceful ways with their internal development and creativity." I would add, and thus be able to wake up inspired and make a difference in the world while feeling more in love with their lives.

This leads us to not just challenging what defines beauty, but what is true success?

Studies show that 80% of professionals say that balance and fulfillment are top priorities. Yet, in real life, they are still not experiencing enough balance or meaning. Professionals come to me seeking their higher purpose much more than just higher paychecks.

There's a healthy revolution brewing-- towards becoming whole and experiencing a harmony between who you are deep inside, and how you function in the outer world. "Life, liberty and pursuit of happiness" has a renewed echo in our hearts for the 21st century. The first feminist initiatives were about "Life" -- I exist. I have a say in the world. I count and get a vote. "Liberty" overlaps nicely with the push for the freedom to pursue financial independence and equal opportunity to compete for the corner office. Now, we have a grand opportunity to revamp "The Pursuit of Happiness." Let's pray we are wiser about what "happiness" entails and realize that she who dies with the most toys is probably spending too much time on eBay.

More women are ready to redefine success in order to include well-being, spirituality, and meaningful work rather than sacrifice these elements while trying to climb ladders and compete in ways that are often out of sync with her true nature. Who wants to keep pushing to break through a glass ceiling if this leads to more stress and a shattered spirit? We are at the threshold of redefining success and reclaiming joy.

One of my clients, a 40-year-old television producer, puts it this way, "I define my own success now. I used to put a lot of energy into pushing for the next promotion, competing and getting caught up in what everyone else thought was success. Now I've given up chasing in favor of seeking. I realize that, yes, you can have fulfilling work, be a mom, and not kill yourself--as long as you define success yourself." Rather than push for network exec titles, she's now more intrigued with making a difference in the lives of others, especially education for girls.

Powerful Questions:

• Use Dove's Evolution film to stir up a conversation with colleagues (female and male) about beauty and self esteem. What are you moved to be more conscious about?
• Reflect on your own unique definition of success. Fully acknowledge how cultural norms and peer pressure have influenced you. What really matters most to you?
• Who are the women you admire? The qualities you admire in them offer clues about your own values and purpose.

If you are reading this, you are a person of power. You have choices to make and a voice to use toward a world that works for all of us. What would you love to experience for your own unique story of joyful success?

This essay originally appeared in March 07 e letter for Women's Month.